by Jay Johansen | Aug 30, 2020
You often hear professional women say that they have trouble finding a man because "men are intimidated by successful women".
Is this true? No. Men are not intimidated by successful women. Men are uninterested in successful women.
What does a man want from a woman? Does he want someone who makes a good income so she can support him? No. And most women don't want a man who wants that.
A man typically wants a woman who is pretty, fun to be with and do things with, and who will take care of their home. There are variations but I think a very large percentage of men would agree that those three things are at or near the top of their list.
If a woman is a successful career woman who has a high position in a company and makes a lot of money, that of itself is worth just about zero points to the average man. It's not that he doesn't like financially successful women per se. He just doesn't care. And it tends to come with side effects that are minuses to him. To make it to the top of the corporate ladder, you typically have to be willing to devote your life to your work and put in long hours. So the successful career women probably isn't willing to devote a lot of time to taking care of their home. Even spending fun time together could be a struggle. Going on vacation requires co-ordinating his vacation time with hers, and she may have a hard time getting away. And in general, if her priority is her work, then her priority is not him and their home.
On top of that, if she's in management, she may be used to taking charge and giving orders. Few men want to come home to a wife who orders them around.
Few men want a wife who is independent. He wants to depend on her and he wants her to depend on him. He doesn't want a room mate to share living expenses; he wants a companion and a lover.
Most men think that providing for the family finances should be primarily his job. If his wife is doing that job, then she is not a partner. She may even be a competitor. He may find himself constantly having to prove himself to her. No man wants that.
That's not to say that a successful career woman can't have a happy marriage. But being a successful career woman doesn't help at all, and it comes with collateral side effects that hurt.
© 2020 by Jay Johansen
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