I've seen many new stories about bars that have a sign in the women's rest room advising them of code words, names for fictional drinks that are really codes for the bartender saying to get help. The idea is, if a man is harassing a woman, she can order one of these fake drinks, and the bartender will then call a taxi for her, or a different fake drink name may mean call the police.
For example, one scheme says that if you order "angel shot neat", someone will walk you to your car. "Angel shot with ice" means to send for a taxi or Uber. "Angel shot with lime" means to call the police.
And I wonder: Why do they need the code words? Suppose a man was hassling some woman. She goes to the ladies room and sees the sign that says if she orders an "angel shot with ice" that that's not a real drink but rather will signal the bartender to call a taxi for her. So she goes back, orders this drink, the bartender sends for a taxi, and she leaves and goes home, escaping the creepy stalker. Cool.
But ... how is this better than if she just told the bartender, "This guy is hassling me. Will you call a taxi for me?" Sure, the creeper stalker dude will hear it. So what? What's he going to do? Specifically, what's he going to do different from what he would have done when the bartender told her "your taxi is here" and she left? It's unlikely that a creepy stalker dude in a bar is going to try to use physical force to prevent her from leaving either way -- even if he doesn't get the message and bac off, there are too many people around. And if he did actually resort to violence, it's the same problem either way. Either the bartender calls the police or other men in the bar restrain the creepy stalker dude. Or, I suppose, everybody stands around and does nothing while he assaults her. But it's the same story either way, too.
Maybe I'm missing some advantage to the code words. I admit, I've never been in this situation -- I've never tried to harass a woman in a bar. Nor has any woman I know told me about being harassed in a bar. I guess i just don't move in the right circles.
© 2025 by Jay Johansen
No comments yet.