A Liberal Storybook: The Gun Maniac - Island of Sanity

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A Liberal Storybook: The Gun Maniac

Jones was boiling with anger. He was mad, and someone was going to pay. They were all going to pay.

His rage did not stop him from laying out a careful plan. He would go to a crowded shopping mall and shoot everyone in sight. When the police finally came for him, he would set off a bomb, killing himself and many more. He scouted out the mall to find the best place. He found a spot on the upper level that always seemed to be crowded. Better still, from this spot he could target both people upstairs and look over the balcony to target people downstairs, and he could easily cover people trying to escape toward the exits in either direction.

He had a brief moment of hesitation at the thought that when he set off the bomb, innocent children might be killed along with their parents. The adults all deserved to die, of course. Those who were not an active part of the conspiracy against him had stood idly by and done nothing to stop it. But the children? Then he thought, no. They were probably all laughing at him, too. He could see the children snickering at him every time he walked by the school.

He collected all sorts of guns and explosives. He laughed at how easy it was to buy them. For the crucial day he put on two holsters, one on the right and one on the left, with a pistol in each. He shoved a third pistol in his belt. He strapped a home-made bomb around his chest. He rigged a strap to a shotgun so he could hang it over his shoulder under his coat. Then he put a trench coat over it all. He stuffed as much extra ammunition into the pockets as would fit. He wrapped an automatic rifle in a bag. He looked at himself in a mirror. Not the best disguise, he supposed, but by the time anyone challenged him, it would be too late.

He drove to the mall, parked, picked up the wrapped-up rifle, and headed toward the mall entrance.

But as he reached for the door handle, he froze. There on the door was a new sign. He was sure it hadn't been there before, on his earlier visits. But now there it was, plain as day, in big letters: "No guns allowed".

Jones swore in frustration. All his planning, ruined! For of course if he couldn't bring his guns into the mall, how was he going to kill anybody? At a loss, he threw all his guns in the trash and went home.

Later that day, a security officer found the guns in the trash can and notified the police. Police Chief Johnson quickly figured out what had happenned. "This was a close call," he told the TV reporter. "If this maniac had come to the mall just three days earlier, before those 'No guns' signs were put up, there could have been a terrible tragedy here. Fortunately his misguided plans were thwarted by wise and sensible gun-control laws."

Meanwhile, Jones discovered that almost all the public places in the city were now officially gun-free zones, and he realized that there was no way he could successfully carry out a mass killing any more. He gave up on his plans and became a productive citizen, working for the good of the community.

The End

© 2011 by Jay Johansen


Kim Nov 26, 2015

there is no evidence that a CCW holedr could have prevented such an act because EVERY mass shooting happens in a place that a lawful citizen cannot legally carry their gun... and if you think that a mall guard that makes $8 a hour is going to charge head long into a shooting, you are really smoking some good stuff...the only chance to stop a situation like that comes from one of the victims taking a stand. and if those victims are unarmed against a person with a rifle, they cannot make much of a stand.

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